Chapter 1

Sebastian

Dorset, 1823.

“My Lord? You wish to stop here? We are so near to your home now.”

“Indeed, but if I turn up empty handed, I will never hear the end of it, I’m sure.” Sebastian laughed as he reached for the carriage door and called out of the window to his valet, who sat up beside the driver of the carriage. Sticking his head beyond the window, he felt the bristle of the wind tangling his cinnamon-colored hair.

When he saw Wareham town ahead, he smiled. The road to the town was surrounded in red tulips and yellow daffodils, that had raised their heads above the grass verges to greet the spring day. The town road was busy with people hurrying to the market.

“Stop at the market!” Sebastian called to be heard, never once putting his head back through the window.

It was exhilarating to be back here again after so long away. University had been an adventure, but there was nothing quite like Wareham and the countryside of Dorset. Oxford was beautiful, that couldn’t be doubted, yet this place had something Oxford could never merit.

It is home.

Sebastian smiled at the thought as the carriage pulled to a stop in the cobbled street by the market. He leapt from the door as his valet stepped down from the front of the carriage. Marty was so concerned about climbing down from such a height that he plainly didn’t look where he was putting his feet properly and tripped, his whole body leaping off the side of the carriage.

“Woah!” Sebastian stepped forward and caught his friend in time. “Careful, Marty.”

“Thank you, my Lord.” Marty straightened himself and adjusted his tailcoat. “I seem to be getting worse.”

“Truly? I hadn’t noticed.” Sebastian clapped him on the back with good humor. “I’ll be back shortly. Have no fear, we will be home soon.” He walked off, stretching his tall frame with ease through the cobbled road as he headed to the stalls nearby.

Marty had been his valet ever since he went to university and was proving himself something of a clumsy fellow over the last few years. Sebastian hardly minded. Marty was his friend as well as his valet, and there was no man with a better heart than him.

As Sebastian stepped between the stalls, searching for a gift to bring his mother and cousin now he had returned home, he noted Marty followed behind him.

“You fancied a walk, Marty?”

“Eager to see Wareham again.”

“I know what you mean.” Sebastian tipped his chin up and admired the town square, with the church spire beyond and the yellow-stone priory on the corner. It was a beautiful place, one that always managed to warm his heart, even if there was something praying on his mind. “You can see standing here, looking at this town now, why I’m so reluctant to do… well, what we discussed last night,” he whispered, lowering his voice to make sure only Marty was the one who heard him as people passed them in the market.

“The grand tour?” Marty whispered, too. “I thought your father was eager for you to go to the continent.”

“He is eager, but I am not so sure about it.” Sebastian saw a flower stall and turned his footsteps toward it. “Sure, the continent would be fun, but I’d rather be home, at least for a while. Whilst there are some who need to stretch their wings and fly far away, I think I’m what some call a home bird. Home is good for me.”

Yet Sebastian was still not certain about his future. As much as he doubted a grand tour, he knew his father, Daniel Lewis, the Duke of Gordon, was eager for him to go.

“Now, let’s see what they have.” Sebastian bent down and appraised the flowers. “If I turn up with a fair bunch for both my mother and my cousin, they are certain to welcome my return with open arms.”

Marty laughed heartily and shook his head.

“When you came back at Christmas, they threw their arms around you anyway.”

“That is because I bought the finest Christmas presents.” Sebastian laughed too, continuing the jest.

The bonds he had with his family were close ones, and he knew their affections had nothing to do with his gifts, but he was always eager to show his respect for them through such gestures. His mother, Arabella, had embraced him tightly when he gifted her a fine miniature at Christmas. As for Kathryn, as much as any gift warmed her heart, there was one thing in particular she always wanted. She dreamed of wearing a pair of earrings she had admired since she was a child with innocent love and adoration. He half wondered at times if it was more about Kathryn’s love for her aunt that made her dote on her aunt’s earrings, rather than the object themselves.

She longs for the pair of earrings that my mother wears so much.

“Now, let’s see. How about these…” Sebastian turned and reached a hand toward a yellow rose, when another’s hand reached down for the same flower. “I’m sorry.” Sebastian pulled back, startled that as his hand had brushed this other, there had been a jolt up his arm. Feeling the spark, he turned quickly to see just who the hand belonged to.

“No, no, it was my doing.” A melodic voice spoke hurriedly. The lady giggled, lifted her hand and brushed back a loose lock of light blond hair. The rich brown eyes widened when she saw Sebastian, and her plump lips parted.

It’s not possible. It’s Elisabeth!

Sebastian said nothing for a few seconds but stared like a fool. His jaw slackened as he stared at the lady who had been his childhood friend, Elisabeth Vaughan, daughter of Baron Grey.

“Lord Wareham.” Elisabeth hurried to curtsy.

Sebastian remembered his manners and bowed too, feeling strangely tongue tied in her company. The last time they had parted, he’d struggled to leave her. It was something he couldn’t deny that despite their long childhood friendship, he’d felt something deeper in her company the last time he’d known her. It was a fondness, a bond he’d struggled to label. When he went to university, he’d fooled himself into thinking it was a childhood fancy, and nothing more, but their meeting today was instantly challenging that idea.

“Elisabeth? I mean, Lady Elisabeth? I should address you as such now.” He laughed and bowed for a second time. Marty coughed behind him, earning his attention. Marty waved a hand, silently telling Sebastian he’d already bowed once. “Goodness, the last three years have been kinder to you than me.” He shifted his focus back to Elisabeth.

She smiled and pushed that lock of hair behind her ear again.

“As sweet as ever, I see.” Her eyes flitted over him, and he couldn’t help doing the same thing. He admired the bold dark eyes, the subtle cheekbones and the golden color of her hair in the sun. She had grown much since he had last seen her, and though she was not as tall as him, she had a strength of figure that was most alluring. When he couldn’t help gazing at her curves, hugged by the white and pastel pink patterned gown, he cleared his throat, feeling like a fool.

“Apparently I have forgotten how to make conversation whilst I’ve been away.” He smiled and stepped closer toward her. “How are you, Elisabeth? I mean, Lady Elisabeth.”

“A difficult thing to remember, my Lord?” she teased him. “So often when we were children together, you called me such, and I called you Seb.”

“Well, I have no objection to you calling me such a thing again.” He lowered his voice and moved even nearer to her, enjoying the proximity. He’d quite forgotten the flowers, thinking only of Elisabeth.

She’d changed in his years away, not just in maturity, but in beauty. Where she’d been fair of face before, she now shone, as golden as the sun above them. In contrast, Sebastian felt quite like a bumbling fool, uncertain what to do with his hands. He fidgeted with them, then let them fall still to his sides, hanging the ends of his tailcoat.

“Ha! I cannot call you Seb now. Look at you.” She gestured to him. “You are quite a man, my Lord.”

“Am I?” He turned in a circle, as if parading for her, with his arms outstretched. “Have I changed very much?”

“You are taller, certainly.” She stood on her toes in emphasis, trying to reach his height. “I remember you and I competing in height, to see who would grow taller, and my maid drew pencil marks on a wall. For a long time, I was taller than you.”

“That is because I always slumped when we played such a game.” He confessed in a conspiratorial whisper. “I could not have you losing a game, could I?”

“You didn’t?” She laughed raucously at the idea.

“I’m afraid I did. If we played such a game now, the result would be the same.” He bent at the knees, making himself shorter than her. She laughed once again.

That sound entranced Sebastian so much, he quite forgot where he was and why he was there. All he could think of was Elisabeth and this feeling that was sizzling in his breast. It was more than just the usual warmth that had always been there for his friend.

There’s a heat there too now.

His eyes flitted over her face and her figure, before he cleared his throat and internally reprimanded himself.

Concentrate! Be a gentleman. I should not be ogling my friend.

Yet it was impossible not to admire the woman Elisabeth had become. The fondness that had been there before was something deeper. Something he longed to act on.

“Well, I cannot tell you how glad I am to see you again. Are you home for good?” she asked, looking eager to have an answer.

I don’t know that!

“Yes.” The lie fell from his lips easily. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marty falter, staring at him wide eyed. Sebastian couldn’t say anything more, realizing that he’d willingly said the lie just for the chance to see Elisabeth smile again.

“I’m glad. With you around, the season will be a good one.” The way her eyes gazed at him, Sebastian felt jittery and excited all at once. Was it possible she felt something too? Was there a chance that when their hands had touched, she’d felt that same spark?

“Would the gentleman like to buy flowers for his sweetheart?” the stallholder asked, striding forward. The happy lady gestured between the two of them with her plump hands.

Oh…

Sebastian froze as Elisabeth laughed and blushed a deep shade of crimson.

She thinks we are sweethearts!

The idea filled him with such excitement that he didn’t seek to correct the lady. He just looked at Elisabeth and raised his eyebrows, enjoying listening to her laugh.

“We are not sweethearts but thank you.” Elisabeth explained hurriedly.

Sebastian clamped down on the disappointment he felt, knowing that even if she did feel something, she would hardly declare it now.

“But that is no reason not to buy flowers.” Sebastian reached down and picked up a bunch of the yellow roses that she had been reaching for. They were the perfect match, just as golden as her hair and complexion, yet rich with their multitude of petals.

The flower of love, is it not?

“For you, Lady Elisabeth.” He passed the flowers to her. “I’ll buy them, ma’am.” As he handed a few coins over, Elisabeth smiled broadly and pressed her nose to the blooms, inhaling their sweet rose scent, as soft and delicate as a honeysuckle.

“Thank you, my Lord,” Elisabeth said in a rush. “They are quite my favorite, yellow roses.”

“Then I am glad to have learnt it. Enjoy them, my Lady.” He nodded his head to her.

“I must go.” Elisabeth looked away as a lady at a distance called her name, waving her hand. “It was so good to see you again, Seb… I mean, my Lord.”

“It seems you are struggling too with this new formality between us. Shall we just abandon it?” he teased her in a pretend scandalous whisper.

“Ha! If only we could, my Lord. I cannot tell you had glad I am to see you again.” She clutched the roses to her chest and backed up, then curtsied.

Sebastian only remembered to bow when he felt Marty elbow him in the back.

“I hope we shall see much of each other now you are home,” Elisabeth called then turned, hurrying off to her friend, whom she showed the flowers too with vigor.

Sebastian didn’t move but stared in her direction, both entranced and floored.

“That was not what I was expecting,” Sebastian whispered, as his valet moved to his side, tipping back his head so his dark black curly hair danced about his temple.

“Well, if ever cupid’s arrow was shot, I saw it then.” Marty turned and pretended to fire at Sebastian. “Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m not so sure. She is a beauty, is she not?” Sebastian confessed then turned back to the stall, selecting two more bunches of flowers for his mother and cousin.

“Certainly.”

“And her humor, it is something I’ve missed. We were always great friends as children.”

“What I saw then wasn’t friendship.” Marty teased at his side. When Sebastian narrowed his eyes at his valet, Marty stepped away. “I might go hide on the other side of the stall. I fear you’ll hit me with the flowers.”

“Ha! I wouldn’t destroy the flowers in such a way.” He handed over the coins, then he and Marty strode through the market, heading back toward the carriage, yet Sebastian was distracted. He looked back every few seconds in the direction in which Elisabeth had parted, eager to see her again.

“She’s gone.”

“I wasn’t looking for her.”

“Yes, and I believe a storm is coming. Can you feel that rain?” Marty held out his hands, gesturing to the bright blue sky and the golden sunshine above. “See? We can all tell such fibs.”

“You’re a fool, Marty,” Sebastian said good-naturedly with a laugh as he waved the flowers at his valet. Marty ran off before the flowers could strike him.

“I knew you were going to do that!”

“Then run faster.” Despite the words, Sebastian paused and looked back through the market again.

He caught a glimpse of Elisabeth at a distance. She was wandering the markets with her friend, but not interested in the stalls. She stared at the flowers instead, inhaling their scent.

Just the sight of her made Sebastian feel that jittery excitement again. He clutched the flowers he held, trying not to let that tremble spread through his body.

“Perhaps I have found a reason not to go on that grand tour after all,” he murmured to himself, then turned and strode back to the carriage, his thoughts full of Elisabeth.

Chapter 2

Sebastian

“Oh, Sebastian. I cannot tell you how much I love my flowers.” Arabella fussed with the flowers in the nearest vase, that she had placed on a sideboard.

“Where are my flowers?” Daniel teased, walking around Sebastian and clapping him on the shoulder.

“Ha! I didn’t think you’d want them, Father.”

“Good call. How are you, Son?” Daniel softened his words and turned to embrace Sebastian, clapping him on the shoulder with it. Sebastian held his father, then stepped back, gazing at how his father had changed over the last few years.

Daniel was much the same, but the lines in his face were growing. His cinnamon hair, that was a lot like Sebastian’s own, didn’t have any greys in it yet, though the whiskers on his chin weren’t quite as rich in color as they had once been.

The light brown eyes held humor as he looked at Sebastian.

“How was the journey?” he asked.

“It was eventful. You’ll never guess who I saw in town.” Sebastian was eager to speak of Elisabeth, but before he could, Arabella grew distracted.

“Your cousin and your aunt and uncle are to come tonight to welcome you home.” She turned away from her flowers and hurried toward him, embracing him too. He’d grown so tall that his mother was shorter than him these days, but could just as easily pull him into a hug and squeeze so tight that he struggled to breathe.

“Can’t breathe, Mother!” he complained and teased her.

“Oops, sorry.” Arabella released him, stepping back and smiling. Her auburn hair was tucked up into a neat chignon. She smelled sweetly of herbs and flowers, a scent that always followed her around. “They are to be here soon, and your celebratory dinner shall begin. We’re so proud of your achievements at Oxford.”

“Indeed, we are.” Daniel clapped Sebastian on the shoulder again. “Come, let’s find you a drink. Claret?”

“Yes, please.”

“If I remember university well, you’re used to stronger stuff by now,” Daniel said with a playful warning glare. “Don’t expect that here.”

“I was as good as gold at university, Father,” Sebastian insisted, but couldn’t keep a straight face as he said it.

“Oh, Sebastian.” Arabella tapped him around the arm.

“What? I was simply one of the men there, Mother. There is often drinking.” At his words, she still tutted and shook her head.

“I remember it well,” Daniel concurred and moved to a drink’s cabinet in the side of the room, collecting three claret glasses before he returned. “Anything to report from your final days? Other than your success, of course?”

“Well, there was one who I met in the market today.” Sebastian tried to speak of Elisabeth once again.

“Oh, thank you, love.” Arabella took the glass from Daniel, and smiled at him, lifting the glass to her lips. The brush of their hands together brought smiles to both of them.

Sebastian laughed as he looked between his parents, startled at how sweet and noticeable the love was still between them. After so many years of marriage, many couples might have found distance between them, but not his parents. They always appeared to be very much in love.

“Who did you meet?” Daniel said. Sebastian took the glass, glad the conversation was steering back to what he intended to speak of.

“Elisabeth. Lady Elisabeth, daughter of Baron Grey,” he explained. “It has been a few years since I’ve seen her. She has grown up so much.”

“Is she not a beauty?” Arabella said eagerly.

“I couldn’t deny that.” Sebastian nodded in agreement.

“She’s a lady now.” Arabella took Sebastian’s hand and drew him to a seat nearby. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she marries soon.”

At the words, Sebastian busied himself with an imagination. He saw Elisabeth walking down the aisle of a church, and the gentleman she was going to meet was Sebastian. In her bouquet were yellow roses, and as she reached him at the altar, she took his hand. That same spark he had felt in the market passed through his arm again.

What is happening to me?

He eagerly gulped from the claret, startled by how much power his thoughts had over his body, making him feel heated.

“Careful with that wine,” Daniel laughed as he sat on another chair between them. “Funnily enough I saw Baron Grey recently at a dinner. We talked of his daughter.”

“You did?” Sebastian lowered his glass, eager to hear more.

“It’s plain he hopes his daughter to make a match soon. She has a good dowry, is beautiful, and has a reputation for being quite the lady from last season. I don’t doubt he’s right. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was betrothed before the end of the season.” Daniel sat back and cleared his throat. It wasn’t quite a cough, but Arabella looked toward him all the same.

Sebastian waited too, to see if his father would have one of his coughing attacks, but no such sound followed. It was a rare occasion these days for his father to struggle with the problem that plagued his lungs, but Sebastian had seen time and time again growing up that it was his mother who was his father’s healer. She helped him, when he most needed it.

“You do not need to look at me like that, love,” Daniel laughed at his wife. “I’m perfectly all right.”

“I know.” She reached forward and tapped his hand on the chair arm between them.

That touch had Sebastian thinking of Elisabeth again. He sipped his wine, considering that if Elisabeth was to make a match this season, was it so absurd for him to hope that he could be the gentleman she married? The mere thought had his knee bobbing, and his hand fidgeting with his wine glass. Such excitement and heat bled through him that he felt a sudden need to pull at his cravat and loosen its tightness.

“Now, let us talk of you, Sebastian.” Daniel shifted his focus back to his son. “What of the grand tour?”

“Oh, well…” Sebastian took a sharp intake of breath. He didn’t want to go on the grand tour. He’d already been having doubts, but how could he do so now after meeting Elisabeth again?

I am a home bird, as I told Marty. I wish to be here. With Elisabeth…

“We’ll see,” Sebastian said quietly, tapping his glass. He exchanged a look with his mother that showed him at once Arabella saw his doubts on the matter. She nodded, almost imperceptibly, accepting his hesitation, yet Daniel hadn’t noticed.

“You will love it,” Daniel said eagerly. “What an experience it is to travel the continent, see wonders that you’ve only read about in books.”

“Hmm,” Sebastian mumbled noncommittally.

A bell rang in a distant part of the house, cutting off their conversation.

“Ah, that will be them.” Arabella moved to her feet and hurried to the door of the parlor.

“What do you say, Sebastian?” Daniel leaned toward him, tapping his arm. “The grand tour. We must talk of the particulars soon.”

“We’ll see.” Sebastian’s fidgeting grew worse, with his knee bobbing up and down so much now that Daniel looked toward it.

“When did you get so fidgety?”

“Just hungry, Father.” Sebastian lied and looked around the room, seeking another subject to talk about.

The parlor was rich in beauty. The walls had been plastered ornately, with cornices and coving around a hanging candelabra and the wall sconces. Duck egg blue furnishings filled the space, with silver rimmed rococo settees and chairs surrounding Sebastian.

It was one of his favorite rooms, as he could remember getting up to much mischief with his cousin in this parlor. Once, they had tipped over a chair when playing their games as children, and it had fallen into the fireplace. Fortunately, the fire had just been ash at the time, though Arabella had not been pleased to find the armchair returned to its place covered in ash with small sooty handprints all over the duck egg blue cushion.

“Ah! Here he is.” A familiar voice called.

Sebastian stood as his aunt and uncle walked in. Aunt Clara was the first to hurry forward, her cinnamon hair that many in the family shared tucked behind her head. She reached for Sebastian and embraced him warmly.

“This house has not been the same without you.”

“Thank you, Aunt,” Sebastian said, glad to see her too. “Uncle? How are you?”

Horatio stepped forward and offered his hand to shake Sebastian’s.

“Glad to be here,” he confessed. “If I had to listen to one more evening of Kathryn bemoaning your absence, I would have gone mad!” He laughed heartily. “Speaking of which.” He turned, his dark hair on his forehead dancing, as he looked at his daughter.

“Where is he?” Kathryn ran into the room. So eager to see Sebastian, she ran straight into an armchair and tipped over it.

Sebastian laughed at once as Horatio pinched his brow, trying not to laugh. Clara moved to her daughter’s side.

“Kathryn, dear, you must look where you put your feet.”

“That takes too long.” Kathryn straightened herself to stand and brushed off her mother. “It’s simply my eagerness to see Seb that makes me so clumsy.”

“Then explain dropping an entire tea service this morning,” Horatio teased his daughter. Sebastian laughed with Daniel, as the latter produced a wine glass for Horatio.

“Looks like you need this,” Daniel said to Horatio, who took it eagerly.

“Seb!” Kathryn launched herself at Sebastian. A mix of her mother and father, she bore hair that was a mixture of brown and black, with strongly arched brows and dark eyes. To reach Sebastian, she tripped again on a rug. He managed to catch her with one arm and brushed it off as an embrace.

“So eager to see me, Cousin,” he laughed as she straightened herself up.

“You have taken so long to come home,” she reprimanded him and tapped him around the arm.

“Ow.” He pretended to be hurt by her. “That’s what happens at university. They keep you caged like animals.”

“They do not,” Daniel corrected him across the room as he passed a wine glass to his sister, Clara.

“They do. Did you not hear about Lord Byron when he was at Cambridge? He kept a bear in his rooms.”

“Did he really?” Kathryn laughed at the absurdity of the idea.

“You were not caged like a bear.” Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Simply glad to be home, Father.” Sebastian raised his glass in the air in a mock toast. Daniel mirrored the action and laughed.

“Now, I’m stealing him away.” Kathryn took Sebastian’s hand and dragged him across the room, pulling so sharply that he nearly fell over.

“Woah!” Sebastian worked hard not to fall on his face.

Their parents laughed heartily and wandered toward the open door that led to the dining room. Sebastian and Kathryn didn’t follow, but ended up in the boxed window seat that was plush with cushions. Kathryn eagerly pulled him down, smiling widely.

“Home has not been the same without you. You have no idea what it is like to put up with all our parents alone.” She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Your parents fuss me as they cannot fuss you!”

“You love it, really,” Sebastian teased her. “You adore my parents.”

“I do, but I am still glad to share the attention.” Kathryn brushed off the matter with a wave of her hand. “You must tell me everything about university. It sounds like such an adventure.”

“Hmm.” Sebastian hurried to take another sip, not so eager to answer. Whilst he had enjoyed university, it had not been without its bad days, and there had been plenty of times when he would have rather been home than in Oxford. If he’d had his way, he would have been home before now.

“You are more eager for adventure than I am, I’m sure.” He waved his wine glass at her.

“Then I must live vicariously through you.” She gestured to him. Sebastian was distracted and looked out of the window, his mind elsewhere. “Ah, but I see your thoughts are not with me.”

“What?” Sebastian looked back at his cousin.

“Come now, Seb. You and I have known each other our whole lives. You think I cannot see when you are thinking of something. You do this.” She adopted a foolish expression, frowning, cross eyed, with her lips firmly pressed together.

“Ha! I do not look like that much of an imbecile, surely.”

“I make no comment.” Kathryn held up her hands in innocence.

“I have missed your good humor.”

“And I yours.” She waved at him. “Now, confess, Seb. What is it that has you so distracted this evening?”

Sebastian put his wine glass down on the windowsill and leaned forward, knowing at once that he could trust his cousin with his secret. She was his greatest friend, and the two had practically lived in one another’s pockets since they could walk.

“I saw Lady Elisabeth today,” Sebastian whispered.

“She and I have become great friends since you’ve been away,” Kathryn said distractedly.

“You have?” Sebastian raised his brows.

“I see this meeting has quite struck you, has it?” Kathryn whispered knowingly.

“It has.” Sebastian nodded. “I would struggle to describe it. There was always a fondness there, but when I saw her today, bang – it was as if I was struck with a lightning bolt. You should have seen my valet.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Marty said I’d been struck by cupid’s arrow itself.”

“Are you in love? So quickly?” Kathryn leaned forward.

“No, no.” Yet Sebastian felt his gut tighten in rejection of the idea. He knew Elisabeth, very well, and this meeting was the spark of something new between them. “Perhaps I am in danger of finding myself in love with her. You could say that.”

Kathryn held a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

“How wonderful!” Her words were muffled with her hand over her mouth.

“Care to speak clearly?” Sebastian asked, and she lowered that hand.

“Well, perhaps I could be of assistance to you.” She sat taller with a victorious smile.

“Assistance? How?” he asked.

“If you wish to court Elisabeth, maybe I could encourage the relationship. Nudge it along.” She mirrored her words by nudging his elbow.

“You would do that?”

“Of course, on one condition.” Kathryn held up a finger. “Help me get the one thing that I have always wanted.”

Sebastian sighed, knowing just what she was going to ask for.

“You wish for my mother’s earrings.”

“Of course! Those beautiful ones, the long gold bands with two pearls and a diamond in each. I just wish to borrow them for a while. She has so many, she would never notice.” Kathryn waved a hand in the air.

“They are her favorites.”

“And mine,” Kathryn reminded him. “I’ve longed to borrow them for so long, but she would never let me. Come on, Seb. Help me—"

“Take them.”

“Borrow them,” She corrected him. “And I will help your potential courtship of Elisabeth. So? What do you say?” She offered her hand, as if they were about to strike a business deal.

Sebastian hesitated, knowing his mother loved those earrings, then he saw Elisabeth’s face in his mind’s eye again and his heart thudded in his chest.

“Very well, you have your deal.”

Chapter 3

Elisabeth

“What do you think, Sarah?” Elisabeth turned around in front of the mirror, watching as her pastel blue gown shimmered in the last light through the window. “Will I do for this assembly?”

“Why, my Lady, what a pleasure it would be to dance with you tonight.” Sarah adopted a deeper tone and appeared in the mirror’s reflection behind Elisabeth, offering an excessively flamboyant bow.

Elisabeth laughed deeply and turned to her maid, knowing the playful ways of Sarah had always given her a reason to smile.

“May I have this dance?” Sarah continued this false depth of voice as she pretended to be a gentleman and then cleared her throat. “Please say yes, as it’s rather painful to maintain this odd tone.”

Elisabeth pretended to giggle modestly, raising a fan to her lips to hide her face then curtsied to her maid.

“Why yes, I’d be delighted, good sir.” She gave her hand to Sarah, who led her into a dance around the room. They hopped together, laughing when Sarah leapt over a hairbrush that had fallen off the vanity table. “Ha! How ridiculous I’ll look laughing like this. Tell me, how is one supposed to dance and laugh modestly behind a fan at the same time?”

She mocked herself, trying to dance with Sarah, then raise the fan.

“Gentlemen must think it strange that a lady is forever hiding her face,” Sarah agreed, nodding her head so her light brown curls bobbed around her ears.

“Exactly! Let me cast it away so at least then they can see me smile.” Elisabeth dramatically tossed the fan. It landed somewhere on the table and knocked a handheld mirror onto the floor too. They laughed as Sarah now had to jump over this obstacle as well as the first as they danced.

Sarah led her to the side, back and forth, as she took Elisabeth’s hands, then turned Elisabeth under her arm.

“Ah, scandalous, my Lady! To be seen to smile so much in a gentleman’s company,” Sarah teased her.

“Oh, I know.” Elisabeth covered her mouth, in pretend shock. “Imagine that? Being so caught up in a gentleman’s company as to actually be scandalous.”

Sarah swept an arm around Elisabeth and came close.

“Like this?” Sarah laughed at the words. Elisabeth pretended to swoon, casting a hand to her forehead and tipping backward. “Oomph! I’m going to have to get stronger if we’re playing this game.” Sarah held her up with an arm under her waist.

“Ha! Have I grown so large?” Elisabeth teased and stood straight again. Both she and Sarah were slight in figure, but where Elisabeth had grown curves, Sarah was slim.

Her maid was her dearest friend, who she shared every secret with. The two had played such nonsensical games together for so long that Elisabeth could not even remember when it first began.

“It is absurd though, is it not?” she asked seriously for one minute. “Every mad thing a lady is told to do on a night such as tonight at an assembly.”

“You mean to dance freely, then modestly do this.” Sarah snatched up the fan and fluttered it in front of her face, batting her big blue eyes. Elisabeth giggled, holding a hand over her mouth to try and muffle the sound. “And one must drink freely too.” Sarah reached for an empty glass beside them. “Yet also wave one’s dance card in front of a gentleman’s eye.” She took Elisabeth’s dance card off the table and tried to do everything all at once. “I think you’ll need another hand tonight.”

“I may need it.” Elisabeth took the dance card from her maid and threaded it around her wrist. “I’d rather be myself at such events. I am proper enough.”

“You are proper, very refined, my Lady, you know that.” Sarah reached forward and adjusted a few of the loose golden locks of Elisabeth’s hair.

“Yet what I object to is the constant game at these affairs. Entice a man to dance, but do not be so bold as to look him in the eye for too long. Be coy yet be endearing. It is a world full of contradictions, and games.” Elisabeth huffed and dropped down onto her stool by her vanity table. Sarah stood behind her, adjusting a few pins in her hair that had come loose in their game. “I wish marriage was not a game.”

“It is not always.”

“Oh, it is! You should hear my mother and father talking of it.” Elisabeth huffed and fidgeted with the dance card. “My father speaks of it as if he is playing some grand chess game. Each piece on the board is a different suitor and offers different things. It’s quite absurd to hear him talk in such a way, when truly, all the pieces look the same to me. I never was very good at the game.”

“Not a single piece has caught your eye, my Lady?” Sarah asked. “Not one?”

“No.” Elisabeth spoke hurriedly, then fidgeted even more with her dance card.

The day before, something had happened that had changed her view of things. She’d met Lord Wareham again, or as she had known him for so long as they were children together, Sebastian.

She rather pictured casting aside all the pieces of her father’s chessboard, knocking the suitors to the ground that had taken the place of the bishop, the king, the pawns, and more. In the middle of the chessboard, she’d place a yellow rose, to symbolize one man.

He was not who I was expecting.

She couldn’t deny the attraction she had felt to Sebastian. He’d grown much since she had last seen him. He was not only taller and more mature in figure, but his shoulders had broadened a little, yet his figure was slim. His honey-colored eyes were endless, seeming to go on forever as he stared at her, and the strong jawline had tempted her into thinking what it would be like to run a finger across it.

Goodness, he has wormed his way into my thoughts again!

She shook her head, trying to stop her thoughts that had run away with her.

“Not a single man has caught your eye?” Sarah said again, trying to nudge a response from her.

“There is a man I find handsome, certainly,” Elisabeth confessed, though she chewed her lip, determined not to say his name. She pictured Sebastian as he had handed her the yellow roses, and the broad smile on his lips.

He is like no other man I know.

“Yet there would be objections to such a match.” She shifted in her seat, thinking he’d only given her the roses as the stall owner had made that comment about them being sweethearts. It was his attempt to cover up an awkward situation, a sweet attempt and one she appreciated, though she wished he’d given them to her for another reason.

“Why would there be any objections?” Sarah asked as she walked toward the wardrobe and pulled out a pelisse for Elisabeth to wear over her gown to the assembly.

“He is young.” Elisabeth sighed, knowing full well what her father would say. “Every gentleman my father has so far discussed when it comes to being a suitor is much older than I. He calls any man over the age of twenty-five, ‘a good age to marry.’ Absurd, is it not?”

“Pah! I question why a man has to be twenty-five and a woman only eighteen.” Sarah whispered. “A lady just last month married, and she was eighteen. What different expectations there are on the genders.”

“Yes, perhaps so.” Elisabeth took her shawl from her maid then smiled. As she was now twenty, her father was growing impatient and wanted her married. “If only I could be so fortunate as to dance as we dance, but with a young man.”

“Would you be swept up in a rake’s arms, my Lady?” Sarah danced by herself in the room, then mirrored the swoon Elisabeth had made.

“If only. What excitement that would be! To have one’s heart beating so much for another?” Elisabeth danced then swooned too, copying Sarah’s movements so that they both fell down onto the end of the bed and laughed heartily together.

Elisabeth was so busy laughing that she didn’t notice the creak of the door opening.

“Elisabeth? What is all this?” At her mother’s voice, Elisabeth sat up sharply and Sarah leapt to her feet, hurrying to pick up the hairbrush from the floor and tidy the vanity table.

Elisabeth shifted her focus to her mother. In the doorway stood Miranda, her own blonde hair tucked up in such a way that not a single hair was out of place. Where Elisabeth’s dark eyes brought a warmth to her face, her mother’s dark eyes were much colder and smaller. They had a habit of piercing anyone she looked at to the spot, as Elisabeth felt so pierced now as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“You are playing your games again.” Miranda folded her arms and raised her eyebrows.

“There is nothing wrong with a game, Mother.”

“You are a young lady now. Not a child anymore.” Miranda walked past Sarah and glared at her too. “If your maid cannot behave as she should do, then I shall have to find a replacement for her.”

Sarah bobbed a curtsy, hanging her head.

“That will not be necessary.” Elisabeth spoke up with passion and stood hurriedly. Her mother often attempted to interfere with such things, but Elisabeth had learned long ago that she could argue with her mother, freely. It was simply about having the confidence to hold her ground. “Sarah is a dear friend as well as my maid, and I will not have her sent away. Besides, I was the one who started the game.”

Sarah lifted her head enough to reveal a smile.

“Hmm.” Miranda didn’t look convinced, but clasped her hands together, the long fingers curling like claws. She moved toward Elisabeth then adjusted a few loose hairs in her updo. “It is imperative you act like a young lady now, Elisabeth. You have heard your father. He is so keen for you to make a match this season, you must consider marriage seriously, and not think of it as one of your childish games.” She cast a glance in Sarah’s direction as she spoke.

“It is a game, if not a childish one, is it not?” Elisabeth asked. “And the prize for the winner is certainly not I. It is my dowry. I know that well enough.”

“Elisabeth –” Miranda raised a hand and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“Fear not, Mother. I am not wishing to start an argument; I am merely speaking practically.” Elisabeth forced a smile, showing her mother she understood matters.

“You make things cheap when they are actually logical.” Miranda walked around her, adjusting the bodice of Elisabeth’s gown. When Elisabeth wriggled, she shared a humored smile with Sarah, who stifled a laugh by turning away, covering her mouth, and busying herself by tidying the chamber. “Gentlemen marry ladies with good dowries, and ladies marry men of position who have enough money to provide for them. It is a marriage of two wealthy parties. There is nothing wrong in that, is there?” Miranda asked as she came to stand in front of Elisabeth again.

“I suppose not,” Elisabeth murmured.

“Good, I am glad you agree.” Miranda turned to walk to the door.

“I guess I was just wondering if love ever factors into marriage, Mother.” Her words made her mother stop in the doorway. Slowly, she turned back to face Elisabeth, those brown eyes dark again. “The plays I go to see in Wareham speak of love. It seems most poems that have ever been written speak of love too. I’m certain that when Shakespeare wrote, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’ He was thinking of love, and not comparing the lady’s dowry to a hidden treasure.”

“Your romantic notions.” Miranda sighed heavily and leaned on the doorframe. “I love you dearly, Elisabeth, but I must admit it’s time you grew up. Your naivety when it comes to such matters could give you a broken heart.”

Confused by the words, Elisabeth frowned.

“A broken heart?”

“Just so.” Miranda turned, ready to walk out again. “Marry for friendship and position, my dear. That is the greatest assurance for the safety of anyone’s heart.” She smiled, rather sadly. “I shall be waiting downstairs for you, when you are ready.”

As Miranda left, and the door swung shut behind her, Elisabeth turned to Sarah with raised eyebrows.

“What exactly did she mean by that?”

“I do not know.” Sarah shrugged and stepped forward, offering the shawl that had fallen off Elisabeth when she had dropped down to the bed. Hurriedly, Elisabeth put the shawl back on, but found she could not smile now. “My Lady, I do not think it is naïve to wish to fall in love.”

“You do not?” Elisabeth asked, pausing in her task. “My mother seems to think it is. She has called me a fool three times already this week, and now naïve too.”

“That is because she does not have your heart.” Sarah smiled. “We’re all entitled to our different attitudes to life. The way we live our days, our decisions, and even marriage. It is your choice, not your mother’s, even though she wishes to control it.”

Elisabeth smiled sadly, fearing her parents had full control over her marriage.

“I believe love can be found anywhere, my Lady.” Sarah smiled and wistfully gazed into the distance, as if she was thinking of someone. “You shouldn’t give up on it. You have so many potentially suitors, do you not?”

“Potential suitors, yes, but they might as well court a bank cheque rather than I.” Elisabeth chewed her lip, knowing the way gentlemen’s eyes lit up when they saw her. “They do not really see me when they dance with me. They merely see the money; I am sure of it.”

“Then you should wait, for someone who dances with you, and not with the money.” Sarah took her shoulders and turned her to face the door. “Now go. You never know who you might find there tonight at the ball. Maybe this man will be there that you find so handsome.”

“Perhaps he will be.” Elisabeth strode out of the room and glanced back just once, smiling with her thanks to her maid. Before she left, her eyes lingered on something else in the room. It was the vase full of yellow roses.

Chapter 4

Sebastian

“This seems like a really bad idea,” Sebastian muttered as he followed his cousin into Arabella’s chamber.

“Shh,” Kathryn pleaded, waving her arm at him. “We only have so long to do this before we’re called downstairs to go to this assembly. We must act fast. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“We could be caught,” Sebastian hissed as he closed the door behind them. “Or—”

“Oops.” As Kathryn spun around, her elbow knocked a glass scent bottle on a table, topped with a silver stopper.

Sebastian hurried to catch it, dropping to the floor and landing on his stomach with his hands outstretched. He barely caught it before it could smash.

“Or that could happen!” he said and scrambled to his knees, replacing the bottle on the table. “You have been obsessed with these earrings for far too long. Wait, I don’t think it was there.” Sebastian fussed with the bottle, rearranging its position three different times. “Was it like that? Or like that?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Kathryn grabbed his elbow and tugged him to his feet. “It’s fine. And I am not obsessed with these earrings.”

“You tried to take them once when she took them off after dinner,” Sebastian reminded her.

“That was years ago. I was only trying to borrow them.” Kathryn shrugged, clearly not seeing a problem with it. “Come on, you wish for my help, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Sebastian had to acknowledge inwardly that he didn’t know what to do when it came to pursuing a lady for courtship. It wasn’t something he’d ever considered before, and he feared being a bumbling idiot, as he’d been with Elisabeth at the market. He’d bowed twice to her, and stared for part of the time, not knowing what to say. “Just be more careful,” Sebastian pleaded. “Try not to knock anything else.”

“I shall be as quiet as a mouse, and just as light footed too.” Kathryn turned and tiptoed exaggeratedly across the chamber moving around Arabella’s vanity table and away from the bed.

Sebastian followed her closely at first, fearing Kathryn would knock something else over. A quick glance toward the bed showed there was not just a pair of lady’s slippers by the bed, but a pair of man’s slippers too. He chuckled to himself, realizing that despite his parents maintaining the illusion of having separate bedchambers, they still spent most nights in one another’s company.

“Oomph!” Sebastian walked straight into the back of Kathryn, for he hadn’t been looking where he was going.

“Ow, be more careful.” Kathryn waved an arm at him, and in doing so, knocked a tall vase from another table.

Sebastian scrambled to catch it, this time grasping it to his stomach as he fumbled. The water from the vase splashed over his tailcoat and he frowned.

“Well, unless this dries, I’ll have to change before the assembly.”

“We need to hurry. Any minute she could realize we are no longer downstairs.” Kathryn moved to a second vanity table. On the surface was a wooden box. She lifted the lid, chewing her lip in hope. “Oh, I thought it would be a jewelry box.”

Sebastian peered over his cousin’s shoulder to see it was a box full of dried herbs. He smiled at the sight as the scents of lavender and rosemary filled the air.

“That’s my mother.” He took one of the dried sprigs of rosemary from the box. “She always has herbs, everywhere.”

“For her healing?”

“Yes.” Sebastian placed the spring to his nose and inhaled.

It was no secret in the family that Arabella was a skilled healer. She had nursed Sebastian through illnesses as a child and had done the same for Kathryn too. After one or two sicknesses, Sebastian could remember his Aunt Clara declaring there was no physician or doctor that was as skilled as Arabella. They lacked the knowledge of the natural world that Arabella had.

“It’s a scent I always associate with my mother.” Sebastian returned the sprig to the box with a smile and closed the lid. “We shouldn’t be invading her privacy like this.”

“I’m not invading her privacy.” Kathryn rolled her eyes at him. “I’m just borrowing the earrings. I shall return them, have no fear.” She walked away and headed back to the first vanity table, clearly fearing she had missed something. As she walked, she kicked up the rug behind her, plainly not noticing. Sebastian hurried to flatten it again and looked at the door.

Maybe this truly was a bad idea.

“We should just prepare for the assembly.” He wiped at the water droplets on his tailcoat. “You are certain Elisabeth will be there?”

“She will.” Kathryn nodded as she started opening drawers in the short table. “Her father is eager for her to make a match, so she’s being dragged to every event of the season at the moment.”

The words had Sebastian pausing. With her father so eager for her to make a match, it made Sebastian worry that he would not be enough to earn either Elisabeth’s good opinion or her father’s.

“What is the Baron wanting for his daughter? Do you know?” Sebastian asked, fidgeting with his tailcoat.

“You do not want to hear it.” Kathryn shook her head as she paused, reaching into one of the drawers. “The last time Elisabeth and I had tea, he walked in, talking of what a match she would make. You should have seen poor Elisabeth, blushing a deep shade of red. For one who is usually so passionate in giving her own opinions, unafraid, I worry that when it comes to her father, she feels a great sense of duty.”

“I see.” Sebastian swallowed uneasily. “A lady like Elisabeth should not marry for a sense of duty. She should marry…”

“For love?” Kathryn teased him. “Well, let us hope Cupid struck her with an arrow that day in the market as he struck you.”

“Hmm.” Sebastian frowned, uncertain what to think or feel. “If her father wants her to make an excellent match, then he may want someone different to myself.”

“Why? Ooh!” As Kathryn bent down to look in a bottom drawer, she nearly toppled over the stool. She fell into it instead, making Sebastian steeple his hands in front of his face in fear.

“We shall break everything in this room before we find the earrings at this rate.”

“Seb?” Kathryn sat straight. “May I remind you that you are a marquess, and also heir to a dukedom. Why would her father reject you?”

“I can think of a few reasons. For one, I am young,” Sebastian reminded Kathryn. “How old were our fathers when they married?”

Kathryn wrinkled her nose in response.

“Exactly. Quite a bit older than I.” He sighed and sat down on another stool by the table. “It may count against me.” Secretly, there was something more that plagued his mind. It was his capacity to look like a fool in front of Elisabeth. He feared his nervousness would make him tongue-tied again, and he wouldn’t know what to say to her. If he was going to know her better, to have the chance to charm her at all, as he was charmed by her, then he needed to find a way to feel more at ease.

Yet I have no experience of charming…

“What’s this? Ahah! It is a jewelry box.” Kathryn placed a small wooden box on the table, then sighed with drama when she lifted the lid. “The earrings are not here.”

“Oh well if she’s wearing them.” At Sebastian’s words, they both abruptly laughed. “God’s wounds, do you think we are in here looking for something she has on?”

“It’s possible. She’s always wearing them.” Kathryn returned the box to the drawer, then fiddled about. “Wait, what’s this.” She pulled out a second box. This one was longer and thinner than the last.

It was an old tramp box, plainly handmade and carved on all sides. Sebastian stood and moved to his cousin’s side, the better to see the engravings. Each panel told a tale of Aesop’s fables, and on one side the etching of a fox caught Sebastian’s attention the most. The way the tail coiled around the body and the pointed snout bent down to the side made the fox appear cunning.

The image bothered him for some reason, and he pulled to loosen his cravat.

Kathryn lifted the lid and peered inside.

“What is all this?” She lifted out a myriad of papers and spread them on the vanity table. Sebastian bent forward and looked at the papers, noticing that they were all scandal sheets, and in each one, there was an article that had either been highlighted, or cut out and separated from the rest.

His eyes darted across the various headlines.

‘A local witch has ensnared men’s senses with love potions.’

‘The witch is at work again.’

‘Bona Dea – friend or foe to young ladies of Wareham?’

“Who’s Bona Dea?” Sebastian asked, lifting one of the articles from the table so he could read it. The article spoke at length about whispers of a local healer, or a woman who some believed to be a witch. She claimed to be able to help women, but the writer suspected she actually made love potions, that could trick a man into falling in love. “How absurd,” Sebastian muttered. “They call this woman, this Bona Dea, a witch.”

“Sebastian… Look at this.” Kathryn lifted a book out of the box and proffered it to him.

He pulled back the cover, prompting a bundle of letters to fall out. As Kathryn sifted through the letters, he looked through the book finding it was a sort of recipe volume. On each page there was a healing recipe or a tonic. He even found a cupcake recipe. In his mother’s familiar handwriting, each one was accompanied by a small description of what the tonic was supposed to do to help the person who took it.

“Look at these. These are all from ladies asking for help.” Kathryn offered some of the letters to Sebastian. His eyes flicked from one to the next in a rush.

‘Dear Bona Dea,

I am in such need of help from a broken heart, and a friend of mine told me you were the one to write to, who may be able to help…’

‘Bona Dea, dear friend,

You have helped me before, and now I have come to you again. I now ask for assistance for my daughter, whose confidence has suffered greatly as she has lost her love…’

One letter to the next revealed desperate appeals for help. Some letters were from ladies who were in need of healing tonics, suffering illnesses that the local doctor could not help them with. Yet there were other letters that spoke of troubles of the heart and soul, and the writers begged Bona Dea for help.

“I do not understand,” Sebastian whispered.

“Come on, Seb. Can’t you see it? Your mother, the healer, is someone else as well.” Kathryn took the book out of his hands and turned it over, peeling the back cover to reveal the last page in the volume.

Imprinted in the middle of the page was Arabella’s signature, only she hadn’t written the name ‘Arabella’, but another.

Bona Dea.

“God’s wounds.” Sebastian stood and took stock of everything he was looking at. The legend of Bona Dea wasn’t something he’d heard of before, but looking at all these letters he saw at once that they were dated years before. “She helped so many people.”

“Clearly. Look at all these thank you notes.” Kathryn pointed toward more note cards in the bottom of the box. “She was so good to people. Why did she not continue to do this?”

“You haven’t seen the scandal sheets.” Sebastian pointed down at the stories in the scandal sheets. The more he looked, the more he understood what must have happened. “My mother helped people, up until these rumors of a witch being at work and love potions began. Pah, my mother would laugh at the idea of a love potion. She’s a botanist, a woman of science, not magic.”

“Yet the rumor was out.” Kathryn tapped one of the scandal sheets beside her that spoke rivetingly of a witch, urging everyone in Wareham to check their neighbor. “Such gossip, such spread of mistrust. What a shame this had to end.”

“It is.” Sebastian froze as there was a sound in the corridor. “Quick, we must put this back,” he whispered in a low tone. “I cannot tell my mother I have discovered her secret in this manner.”

Kathryn hurried to return everything to the box.

“I still think it’s a shame she has to keep such a thing a secret. She should be proud of all that she has done.” Kathryn managed to drop some of the letters.

“Kathryn!” Sebastian hurried to pick them up and thrust the letters into the box. He put it back in the drawer and hurried to close it. “We agree, we do not talk of this to my mother, nor to anyone.”

“Agreed.” Kathryn flinched when another sound followed in the corridor.

“Kathryn? Sebastian? Where are you two?” Daniel called, his voice distant in the house. “We have to leave for the assembly now.”

“We’re coming!” Kathryn called back. Sebastian waved a hand at her.

“He might have heard where that came from.” He grabbed his cousin’s wrist and dragged her up from the stool, toward the door.

“I didn’t think of that.”

They hurried out of the door and onto the landing. Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the staircase, undiscovered by anyone. Part way down the stairs he saw his mother and father together by the door.

Arabella adjusted Daniel’s cravat as the two smiled, leaning toward one another and talking in soft whispers.

She holds onto such a secret.

Sebastian couldn’t help mirroring that smile as he looked at his parents, understanding that his father must have known.

Suddenly, it explains how the two came together. Perhaps my father was one of my mother’s customers when she was Bona Dea?

“Seb!” Kathryn gripped his arm tightly.

“Ow, what are you trying to do?” Sebastian said and brushed his cousin off his arm.

“I’ve just had an idea,” she whispered, glancing down to make sure Arabella and Daniel were so caught up in their own conversation, they were not looking in hers and Sebastian’s direction. “What if the legend of Bona Dea was to come back again?”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“I was just wondering if it could be of use to us. I shall tell you more later.” Kathryn put upon an easy smile and walked down the stairs, eagerly catching up to her aunt and uncle who praised how fine she looked as she reached them.

Sebastian followed but at a slower pace.

What is Kathryn thinking, I wonder?

 

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